12 Comments
User's avatar
Char Wilkins's avatar

I worry if laughing this early in the day will result in dire consequences but I did it anyway. Loved “you'd trip Mother Theresa for a Tater Tot, “ and the bottle of gin. Once while walking my street cleaner aka basset hound

on the streets of Philly, I turned around to see she was neatly toting home by its metal handle, a Chinese takeout container of no doubt her favorite, Crispy Duck.

Marjie Alonso's avatar

OMG that's hilarious!

Valerie Pollard's avatar

I can't even.

There's too much in this piece, both present and past, to even try to comment on. Suffice it to say that in both occastions they are perfection. The bitter idiocy of what the organization we both loved has become aligned with dear Nellie's PAT experience. Love you.

Andrea Eschen's avatar

I chuckled throughout this one, especially the lines about changing directors as often as some people change their underwear and the lines about Mother Theresa and Tater Tots. I love how your humor, creativity, and imagination blend to come up with these posts.

Marjie Alonso's avatar

Thank you! I’m so behind in reading - I’m looking forward to hearing of your adventures!

Helen's avatar

Oh darn, sometimes it's hard to walk away and stop caring, and sometimes it isn't. I'm uncertain as to the details of all the kerfuffle, being way over here, but it reminds me of the acrimony between different views of training here, some of which often seem like one big boys club.

Despite this I had several big laughs at Alice's antics and your creative use of acronyms. Alice's past hard living life clearly makes/made your decision to take her on questionable! But excellent for a good laugh.

I'm fairly certain I'm not cut out to be a beagle "owner" even with the invention of PAT, so I'll probably just stick to the bunch of reprobate poodles that currently reside with me.

The beauty of poodles is that I often can just remove said item from their mouth, especially from the tall head-at-coffee-table height one, rinse it off and eat it myself. If it's a double choc coated Timtam, then that's the only sane choice. Obviously PAT would work better but no self-respecting Australian would give up their Timtams so we'll continue to live dangerously and remember not to adopt any beagles!

(Oh, an essay again, sorry!)

Marjie Alonso's avatar

Beagles are not dogs, I keep warning people, so it's best, if one wants a dog, NOT to have a goddamned beagle! Poodles are lovely dogs. ACTUAL dogs.

Helen's avatar

Ah, I see now. makes sense. I did doggy sit one once... We didn't last much longer than lunchtime. He had lunch, I didn't. I'll stick to the poodles for now, without their poodle clips they look just like regular dogs too!

Deb's avatar

I LOVED Dear Goddamned Beagle!! Being a long term Beagle lover, I looked forward to all of Nellie's adventures (we'll just call them that😉!) We are up to number 7, with no end in sight. I mean, how would we spend our time with no “perpetual two year old” in our lives?!? “Jenny, what do you have in your mouth….drop it, leave it, oh too late, you ate it!” Rescue, added to Beagle, just makes it more interesting! So enjoyed going back and reading this today, thank you!

Marjie Alonso's avatar

Fact is, we do not want to KNOW what they have in their mouths…

Deb's avatar

Ain’t that the truth!!